T.C. – The Comeback

Bonjour (I was going to say bienvenue, but that means welcome. Who am I to welcome you to the vast expense that is the internet? Not Al Gore that’s for sure.).

But seriously, hello everyone. I hope you are doing well.

I want to apologize to the Sun Current intern for missing the interview at Caribou. I hope yet to sit down together.

I would start this post in my cherished tradition of apologizing for my infrequent communiqués, but I’ve been reading a medley of blogs lately and it seems that inconsistency is an inherent trait in on-line musings. So I’m not sorry. Boom.

We last spoke in April, meaning that summer has come, lasted for a while, disappeared, and now has returned. It truly is amazing how time floats by. To think that it was more than 2.5 months since my last post makes all the days in between a montage. But we all know and can relate to the acceleration of time as we age, let’s talk about stuff we all might not know about.

During these past few months, I’ve hit a few milestones which I will share with you in this and a subsequent post. None yet the keystone, but significant stones nonetheless. I would probably call them rubies or sapphires, pretty awesome, but no unobtainium. Here is something interesting about the coming of summer: I can’t sweat anywhere but my feet. This means that all the heat in my body remains inside, so I just get very cranky and basically look like a cartoon character where he/she gets angry (body red, mercury in thermometer quickly rising). But my feet still sweat, so that’s good if you want to think about it that way. Ironically, I use to be ashamed of my perspiration issues, so much so that I wouldn’t raise my hand in class if I were wearing a gray shirt. Oh how I long for those days of robust skin water.

Moving on……

Jason Curry visited my fair city in the beginning of June. It was then that he paid witness to my daily routine, my severe and loveless relationship with poor quality television, and my guiding hope that is the ABLE therapy program. He and my Iphone 5 accompanied me for three days to observe me smashing iron, medicine balls; treadmills; and peoples’ expectations of guys wearing sleeveless shirts. With his great skill and ferocious emo-ness, he put together a video depicting a typical day of therapy. Check it out here-(vimeo.com/69206779 ). Nice work Jabba.

I’m never one to let a paragraph just to come into being. I love segueways so much I adorned one of those terrible helmets and rode one. In honor of that sacrifice here is thin grammatical transition riding…. Speaking of Jason, his dad come up to Minnesota three weeks after Jason to play in the inaugural TC Classic held June 21-22. You can check out pictures of the Classic on my website ( www.tcloyd.com). But because of the Classic’s shear magnitude of success and overwhelming support, allow me to share the highlight reel. Actually before we begin, I want to thank everybody for participating, assisting, donating, playing, drinking, eating, dancing, biding, and most importantly for being a part of my life. Everybody played a part, large or small; and my family and I can never truly express our gratitude for all that you have done to support us. Thank you.

Now close eyes… Actually you will have to open them to read what is below. After you have read what’s below, close your eyes and imagine the stuff you have just read.

Open on golf course clubhouse with daunting storm clouds approaching.

Interior shot of main room: an impressive spread of silent auction items all generously donated, a fine sampling of Minnesota appetizers, and many friends meeting new people.

Fast forward three hours.

Ten-15 well groomed individuals dancing heroically to the live band’s (Bob Manning and the Real Deal) cover of Sublime’s “What I Got”, torrential downpour beating against the windows and ceiling as if a musical instrument, the faces of the crowd expressing the entire range of known human emotions as they observed the majesty on the dance floor.

I would like to keep going in screenplay form, but I think we all know that is not a good idea. As the storm subsided, the band shut down and people started leaving, there was an air of excitement not unlike the day after Thanksgiving when you are preparing a sandwich of leftovers, because everyone knew that the next day there was golf to be played.

The next morning was as beautiful as one could ask-low humidity and clear skies. We had about 100 golfers playing on all 18 holes with athletes ranging from grade school friends to my father’s colleagues and everybody in between and the same number of fans at the clubhouse. I was able to tool around in a golf cart and witness to the shear altheletism of my friends. Nobody got a hole in one to win the Chevrolet Malibu, but I’m guessing that those who attempted did not noticed the Saran wrap that I put over the hole. After 5 hrs on the links, the players came in; we roasted a pig, and golfers and fans raised enough money to cover my medical expenses for the next year. Hell yeah.

The tournament was known as the inaugural TC Classic, where inaugural infers that there are more to come. In coming years, I’m going to try effing hard to raise money for others; because I won’t have none of them medical expenses.

And thus ends Part I of the two part series “A Midsummer Nights Dream 2-by Thomas Cloyd” . With the exciting conclusion to be delivered Thursday, sometime before the Colbert Report.

à bientôt

This guest post comes from a resident east coaster.  I realize that most people reading this blog are from MN, but for the people who do not hail from this great state I need to clarify two things.  One, for anyone who rags on Minnesota (I empathize, I’m from NJ) – It’s not true, Minnesnowta is pretty cool, and it snowed on Thanksgiving. Second, people from the Midwest really are that nice. I’m about to expand with some evidence to back that up.

I’ve spent the last few days at the Cloyd residence celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday; something I was also lucky enough to do in 2004 and 2005. I don’t want to deny the fact that every day here is stressful. Every morning brings a new obstacle and a new unforeseen challenge. That being said Terri still remains one of the most beautiful and intelligent women I’ve ever met (second only to my mom). Cokely is still one of the wittiest and smartest people I know- I learn something new (actually many things) every day that I spend with him. Elizabeth still keeps the energy level high, bouncing in and out of every room. (Thank you Art Glickstein for the coining the term bouncing for Elizabeth, it’s perfect)… and despite everything, Thomas still has his amazing sense of humor and talks about all the things he would normally… chest hair, puffy vests, mustaches, and other pleasantries that will remain unmentioned. In the past, whenever I described the Cloyds to friends, I said they were the most brilliant, quick-witted, loving family I’ve ever met. (I’m running out of hyperbolic superlatives) They even come with an adorable snow covered home on Maple Rd with a tree swing in the front yard. (Albeit now replaced with a U of M flag).  I’m happy to report that none of that has changed.

On to the Midwest stereotype… it’s true. They really are as nice as people say and because we’re all celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday, I’m going to give a shout out (maybe inappropriately) to all the things I’ve seen that the Cloyds are thankful for. Cliché, but true, we are all so lucky to be surrounded by the most loving friends and family.

It was great to see the Glicksteins again. When I said earlier that Cokely was the smartest man I had ever met, that was until I was reintroduced to Jed and Scott… and Sophie, Lilly and Sidney.  Sorry Cokely, your reign is over. (The Glicksteins also win the award for best cheese spread.) Another great help for the Cloyds is the MealTrain program, organized by Sidney Glickstein. Friday night we had a traditional day-after-thanksgiving-leftover-dinner mixed with some amazing dishes provided by MealTrain. As a guest in the Cloyd house I can attest to the culinary delight of the MealTrain home chefs. There are so many things for Thomas, Terri, and Cokely to think about during the day. Not having to worry about what they’re having for dinner is something I know the Cloyds are thankful for. Through Elizabeth’s stories I have come to know the entire Cloyd and Bowman families. I was not disappointed when I met Uncle John and Aunt Sue- they lived up to the hype. Uncle John’s new infatuation with after dinner drinks is sure to lead to many more good family tales. Thomas is certainly enjoying his creative and thoughtful care packages- every letter and box received gives him a lift. The winner for the best care package goes to four girls whom I’ve never met. They made the most neon, collaged, stuffed care package I’ve witnessed. It even included socks… some that may have disappeared into Elizabeth’s suitcase- that’s how cool they are. Lastly, I just went through the box of leftovers from the McCoy’s event. Wow. The donations, friends, and pictures that were a result of the event are truly impressive. These are just some of the positive highlights from my visit. If I covered everything in this post, you all would stop reading (hopefully you haven’t already).

The outpouring of love I’ve witnessed in the past few days is overwhelming. At an incredibly challenging time for the Cloyds, every care package, meal, card and visit helps. Please keep the love coming.

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Holidays to everyone.
-Audra

To contribute to the MealTrain program please e-mail tcandtheneck@gmail.com for more information.

You can send Thomas a care package at:
4820 Maple Rd
Edina, MN

PS- Please take a look at the latest post on the events page. For any NY friends of Thomas we have a fundraiser coming up on 12/12/12. Come get funky for a good friend and a good cause.