Golf Anyone?

7 Jun

Buen Dia mis amigos,

I hope you are all doing as well as this morning is. 72 degrees, low humidity, and just enough breeze to kick out those floating little cotton-but-not-actually-cotton floating eye destroyers.

I’m sitting at a corner coffee shop hydrating on $10 of blended coffee, Naked Juice, and lemonade. I believe hydration cures everything while preparing you for a functional and effective day. But you know this, you intelligent and physiologically sound reader, so I need not delve deeper into my unintelligible policies of healthy living.

-Insert Game of Thrones reference to sound relevant

What I really need to do, or so says the extremely helpful organizing team I have behind me, is get all of you wonderful people to sign up to come and party with me and/or play golf in front of me. You can sign up on my website at The 2nd annual TC classic is going down June 20th and 21st.

Friday night starting at 7 p.m. my apartment will host an extremely classy shindig complete with beer pong and bean bag tournaments, all you can eat food and all you can consume libations. The winner of the beer pong tournament will win a righteous celebrity signed gift donated by Red Bull , no hints, but the celebrity may or may not have stared in “Field of Dreams” and “The Body Gaurd”.

If you cannot make the golf tournament, don’t like golf, hate golf, or simply don’t want to drive out to Monticello, you are welcome to attend this gathering of a large and diverse group of good people. For more details on the party and to purchase tickets visit my website –, unless you’re reading this on my website in which case look up and to the right.

The flagship event will be held Saturday June 21st at Monticello Country Club. The golf tournament will be similar to last year with foursomes playing 18 holes starting at noon, with a pig roast and raffle to close up the evening. Again, those who don’t see themselves as a Rory or Daly are welcome to come and simply enjoy some GnT’s on the deck while watching your friends get frustrated at 75 yard drives. We had a great time last year and plan to have an even better time this year.

Everyone is welcome and as before, the info is on my website –

Life is trending up for me. I recently received my new rugby chair (thanks to the amazing help of the OLG student council..more on that later) which allows me to really kick ass on the court and almost more importantly I now can push around my neighborhood and down the river pathways for some good cardio exercise. Though I still don’t know the appropriateness of my pushing a sports chair shirtless through Edina neighborhoods with a tattoo and the weird faces I make when struggling to push up hill. I think people might consider me a sickly, deranged, and definitely psychotic individual. Actually, yesterday was my first time going on a legitimate bike path and it was very normalizing keeping up with other people running and actually exercising without others staring thinking I need help. Granted, people still stare, probably because I’m moving around in what looks like an assisted device fabricated by Tina Turner in the Thunderdome. In addition to the shirtless weird face situation, I can’t blame them, just as long as they don’t pity me.

*pro-tip* don’t offer to help or try to help a person in a wheelchair unless they ask you. Especially if they look like they’re prepared for the situation at hand.

Thank you to everybody who has donated, volunteered, and told me what to do to make this event a success. We are already doing well but I’d love to see more people come out to the party and/or golf tournament. Any questions you can email me through the contact info on my website, or send a raven to my apartment.

Okay, that covers the necessities for now. I hope all of you are watching Fargo on FX and Penny Dreadful on Showtime. Both are phenomenal shows on a cinematographic and awesomeness level. Catchup on both and we’ll talk about them next time.



2 Responses to “Golf Anyone?”

  1. mick hawkins June 8, 2014 at 8:36 pm #

    P.S. Any pics of “the face”?

  2. mick hawkins June 8, 2014 at 8:35 pm #

    You are so right…today was a beautiful day.

    Thanks, too, to the advice. As an extrovert, I insert my foot in my mouth at least once a day. This advice should make it one less, or not.

    All the best…

    Mick Hawkins